


the light that burned

by FreyaFenris



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Arthur Finds Out, Canonical Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Imprisonment, M/M, Magic Revealed, Not Beta Read, Post-Season/Series 03, Psychological Torture, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 13:31:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11945271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreyaFenris/pseuds/FreyaFenris
Summary: Gaius burns on a cloudless summer day. It’s not the death Arthur would have wished for him, but he does not - can not - regret the part he played in the physician’s death.After all, there are so many people he can protect.





	the light that burned

**Author's Note:**

> I dunno what to tell you. Merlin hurt me and in a few years the show will still probably be my supervillain origin story. And so I decided to hurt him back. Even though the idea for this story hunted me forever, this is something I only just recently got to write, so you know...
> 
> Also, this story is not beta read, so if this is something you might be interested in doing please pm me.

Gaius burns on a cloudless summer day.  
  
  
It’s Arthur who leads him to the pyre. It’s Arthur who secures his hands and feet so he doesn’t run. It’s Arthur that hears his last real words, his last request. It’s Arthur that makes himself look him in the eyes and stop himself from responding, because if his father sees it, sees that even after this profound betray Arthur still hears out what the old man wants to say, that Arthur still listens to him, it will all be for nothing. Everything they went through will be for nothing. Gaius death will be for nothing.  
  
  
But even after he says nothing, Arthur sees in Gaius’ eyes that he understands. Somehow Arthur knows that Gaius know he will honor his last dying wish and isn’t holding him responsible. He sees that Gaius is grateful. And in what cruel word they got to live in when a victim feels gratitude toward their executioner. But there is no denying that this is what Gaius feels. The heavy weight lists from the man’s shoulders and he looks at the cloudless sky, his dignity untouched. He doesn’t beg for mercy even once. Maybe after all those years, he knows too well that Uther has none.  
  
  
Gaius doesn’t say more but with one sharp movement, that is almost lost in the blink of an eye, he gives a small nod. And somehow Arthur knows now too that he’s forgiven for what he must do.  
  
  
Arthur steps down from the pyre and watches to his father - proud, regal, monster of a human father - upon the balcony. Even from where he stands, he sees the anger and hatred in Uther's eyes. A fire of his soul burns there, and it can only be extinguished with the blood of his enemies. Even it's only dead for a short while.  
  
  
Uther doesn’t linger, doesn’t feel the sentiment of old bonds holding him back. He gestures at the guard nearby Arthur’s side to proceed with the execution.  
  
  
It’s strange how Arthur never noticed how much of his characteristics Uther shared with Morgana. Their pride, their cold demeanor. Their need to not only kill their enemies but to make they suffer how they themselves have suffered by the betray. Their need not only kill their enemies but also to break and destroy them completely. Maybe if he did he would know she is his sister. Maybe then he would know what she is capable of, he would be able to stop her. He was a blind fool, that’s true. Not only to Morgana’s actions and needs. To his father’s, to his knights’, to the people’s he never met and yet they wished him dead. He was blind to what Gaius did and he was blind to- No. No more. Now his eyes are open and he sees all.  
  
  
Arthur takes the torch from the guard’s hands and sends the man a step back with a sneer. He owns Gaius at least that. The dignity of dying at hands of a person who didn’t see him as a traitor.  
  
  
The flame doesn’t take the first time he throws the torch. He sees Gaius smiling for a moment before the old man’s eyes settle on Uther and the worry starts to mark his features. In that moment Arthur thinks that Gaius is probably the only man that fears more what will happen if his execution doesn’t go according to plan than he fears the pain and death that will follow if it does. He is right to worry of course. His father’s face is an emotionless mask, but the way his gloved hands clench on the balustrade is enough of a signal for everyone that knows him to be warned.  
  
  
Arthur takes a second torch and sets it carefully under the pyre, praying to gods that this time the flame will take.  
  
  
And after a heartbeat it does.  
  
  
The flame bursts to life and like a dragon soars high at a terrible speed, maybe because Uther didn’t allow Gaius the mercy of having the pyre built of green wood, willing the man still conscious when the fire gets to him. Arthur stumbles back when the flame tries to claim him too, licking his face and hands, burning his hair.  
  
  
By the time he looks back to Gaius the man is already covered by the wall of fire and his silhouette is as palpable as the smoke around it. But then the wind blows and Arthur can see his face, a second later that too is lost to his eyes. If ever asked Arthur will never tell the truth. He will never tell a living soul that in those last moments of his life Gaius looked free.  
  
  
The time slows and the sound dies around Arthur. For a moment he is caught, and he wishes…  
  
  
And then the screams start.  
  
  
Gods, the screams. He thinks that maybe it’s them that will hunt him to his last dying breath, but then his brain registries the sound of the still living flesh of his longtime friend sizzling and the smell of it burning. No, after that he knows the screams won’t be the main horror he will still remember years later.  
  
  
Finally after what feels like an eternity the screaming stops. And with it, Artur knows that Gaius is no more.  
  
  
It’s… almost impossible to imagine his life without Gaius there to guide him. Up to this point, he was always there ready the be the voice of reason to Uther’s iron rule. A protector Arthur knew all of his life. And now just like that, at his father’s command, the flames killed him like he meant nothing. Like he was nothing.  
  
  
No. It wasn’t the flames that killed him.  
  
  
It was Arthur. And Uther. And even if he doesn’t want to admit it, the one that could as well start the fire himself was Merlin.  
  
  
But that’s not the time to think about it. It’s definitely not the place. His father might have left the balcony already, some of the town’s people might have already returned homes. But it didn’t mean there weren’t eyes set upon him, waiting for him to make one wrong step.  
  
  
_He needs you, Arthur. Promise me that you will take care of him now that I can’t_ , Gaius said to him before.  
  
  
Arthur looks to the center of the pyre, where Gaius’ body still burns. It’s not the death Arthur would have wished for him, but he does not - _can_ not - regret the part he played in the physician’s death.  
  
  
After all, there are so many people he can protect.


End file.
